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Dear Friends

I was sitting calmly in a small waiting area in National Cancer Centre for my CT Scan in a blue robe given by the centre. There was an elderly man around 55+ and an elderly woman about the same age waiting there too. The woman started to talk and asked the man what cancer he had. The man replied that he has bladder cancer and how the cancer has affected his life. Suddenly, he stood up and lifted his robe to reveal what’s inside. Both of us were shocked. He showed us his external “bladder”, a plastic looking bag where his urine was stored. He then shared that he could not pee and has to empty this bag every time it’s full. He then continued to share how his life was affected by Bladder Cancer. The woman then turned to me and asked me what cancer I have. I told her Kidney Cancer and I am here to do my regular CT Scan. I shared my case briefly while both the man and the woman listened attentively. After listening to me, the woman asked both of us this question – “Why must there be Cancer in this world?”. There was nothing but silence. I then asked her what condition was she suffering from. She replied: “I have Bone Cancer”. She paused for a short while and she continued: “And it’s terminal”. She continued to share how her legs started to become weak and right now, it’s completely numb. It’s like walking on 2 wooden legs, with no sensation at all. While listening to her story, I started to get emotional and the nurse broke my state by calling out my name. I was next to do the CT Scan. I walked into the cold looking room, lied on the bed as instructed by the Radiologist and a fluid was injected into my body. It felt cold at first at the location where they injected the fluid but the hot sensation starts to move up to my head and slowly down to my whole body. The bed with me on it was then moved into a huge cylinder where I could hear a noise that sounds like a spinning motor. My mind wasn’t there. I was still affected by the elderly woman’s story and you know what ?

Have you ever been affected by what people said about you, how you looked like, how you behave and so on? I sure do. When I was in high school and JC, I remembered I was being labelled with negative remarks such as “Skinny”, “Skeletor (an evil character in the cartoon ‘He-Man’,  ”Slow Learner”, “Ugly” by some class-mates. Initially, it started as a joke but somehow it slowly dawn on me that I was affected by these negative remarks. The more the labels were pasted on me, the more I believed they were true. That really affected me and my self-esteem. It went into a negative cycle. My grades fell when I was in JC and I went into bad company. What happened next? Read more at http://www.nlpinsingapore.com/nlp-singapore/nlp-singapore-3-secrets-of-success.

Years have passed. Now, I have a beautiful & happy family, I run my own company & I am finacially free, and I have a huge number of wonderful and positive friends. As I looked back, those negative remarks and criticism were the best things that have ever happened in my life. Throughout this years, these negative remarks serve as a positive driving force. It made me more hungry, more driven to prove that all things are possible. It makes me realised that it’s our life that we are living, not others. What others say or label is immaterial because we should live our life based on our own expectation and beliefs, NOT other people’s beliefs. If we do not accept what they say, then we will not be affected by them. Do you have such people around you? If you do, let me share with you 2 questions that you may ask yourself – “Are these people important in your life?”, “If not, why do you allow the remarks of such unimportant people affect you?”. Well, I recalled recently when I was attending a training, a classmate asked me this question sarcastically “Are you Hyper?” after an activity. I kept quiet. The question reminded me of 2 things:

1) How one of my NLP Graduates’ son who has ADHD was being laughed at for being too active (they labelled his son as “Hyper”)

2) The negative remarks that I have received during my younger days.

Do I care about the “Hyper” remarks? I DON”T. Did I learnt something? I DID! Get rid of ALL negative people in your life and surround yourself with positive and supportive people. If they are unimportant, keep it that way which reminded me of what Steve Jobs said in his year 2005 Commencement Speech in Stanford University – “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Unfortunately, I got to hear a piece of sad news that Steve Jobs has passed away. I read an article about him and there is this quote: “Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me … Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful … that’s what matters to me.” ~ Steve Jobs. My Heart mourns for him and he continues to live in my heart.

I went back to National Cancer Centre again last month ……… to collect my CT Scan Result which was done in August. It showed NEGATIVE in the test results, which means POSITIVE in my life – I get to LIVE ……. AGAIN. Life goes on for me, enjoying every moment of it. If there are any NEGATIVE moments or people in your life, you can be sure that they are there to teach you something POSITIVE!

“Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish” ~ Steve Jobs.

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Have a GREAT Week ahead!

Cayden Chang
Founder & Director, Mind Kinesis Management International
BSc(Hons), MSc
Lifelong Learner Award 2008 Honouree
Co-author, “Do You Have What It Takes To Be BOSS?”
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